Race


012762_11The Boomerang soundtrack was the ish, but this song was the STANDOUT! PM Dawn was always a little strange, with their flower power mantra and hippie glasses. Not quite the mold of black masculinity at that time–Public Enemy, X-hats and “By Any Means Necessary, that’s probably why I loved them so….. I had this crush on this boy–who will remain nameless and you couldn’t have told me that this song was not written for me and my teen angst. I was a tortured soul even back in 1992.

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keri1wb1So, I haven’t been waiting for her album to drop as long as Maxwell’s…lol, but it has been awhile. And honestly, I am not disappointed. I knew when I heard Energy last summer, I was going to like her stuff.  I love her style, she writes some of her own stuff,  she can actually dance and sing (Rihanna, you taking notes?) and she is not screaming on her tracks (Bey. ARE YOU LISTENING?) Her album sounds like a mix of everything–a little Ciara (Slow Dance), a little but of Prince (Intuition), a little but of Aaliyah (especially “Where Did He Go”) and a little J-Hud (Energy). My favorite song on the album is definitely “Turning You On” and “Intuition”. I feel her  when she says “I got this crazy feeling…im gonna be single again…I can feel it…you gonna mess up!” Girl, you ain’t never lied, cause they always do.

Here is her new video “Knock You Down” I hate to even say it, cause I love him, but I am sooooooo over Kanye right now.

Watch Mathew Knowles ask to be her manager so he can sabotage her career just like he did Kelly’s. Keri, watch yo’ back!

angels-baby-rib-crop-tee-baby-blue-groupieSo do you have low-self esteem? Don’t want to use any real talents other than giving mind-blowing fellatio and using your vagina for cash and “security”? Chase whoever is poppin’ bottles at the club? Great, cause now you have a web sight to validate your whorish behavior. ENTER the blog Tales From A Groupie: The Guidebook to Legal Prostitution Being A Groupie. My girl Shavon brought this to my attention and I am utterly flabbergasted.

This websight allows for women and men to post their nasty-ass tales of fuckery with athletes, rappers and actors and it gives advice to groupies that will help them navigate their skanky world better. Seriously, there are like q&A’s with these people with photographs of who they conquered.

Here’s my personal favorite:

Chris Wilcox

How was he in bed?

Chris and I had one encounter and that was all I could take. It was while he was playing for the clippers. And man let me tell you, this man has the Biggest D*ck I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s like a typical ball player. Straight to the point, no time for BS. Put it like this, his d*ck was so big, I couldn’t even wrap my hand around it!!! It is basically the size of a newborn and I could not take it all the while we f*cked (because trust that what he did) I screamed out in pain. I have never once ran from d*ck, but man he was pulling me back like no other. I could not wait for it to be done. After that I would see him around and I went the other way. I was scared that he would ask to hit it again because my answer would be a long drawn out NO!!!

What would you rate him?
Chris isn’t bad in bed at all. He is a beast, as far as d*ck size so I’ll say 3-4 outta 5, but I wouldn’t f*ck him again because it’s like having a baby and that sh*t hurts
[NO COMMENT ON THAT ONE]
Another fave:
Groupie Tip of The Day: Be Easy
Not just “easy” in the sexual sense, but easygoing. Don’t fret over bullshit like stayin’ out too late or eating that infamous ‘fourth meal’. You know the meal that is to late to be dinner, and to early to be breakfast? Yep, that one. Keep in mind, nobody wants to hang around a uptight bitch. As much as being with this celebrity may be a fantasy for you, it’s a break from reality for him too. Don’t be that overbearing, naggin’ chick that doesn’t know how to chill the hell out. Keep things on your own terms, and try not to appear desperate. Remember, they’re human just like you and as with most things, less is always more; it keeps them guessing.

What I want to know is that if you are a groupie, how you going to act like you are a number one? You are a vessel for this man to penetrate, nothing more, and there isn’t anything less to be. So how you gonna demand to be treated well or want something like RESPECT? A mess.

Can someone tell me what does having sex with an athlete do for you? Does your property value go up? Do you feel prettier than you normally would if you had sex with a REGULAR MAN who might actually call you back? Do these men pay your rent or something? I am not sure if this is all lies, if the creator is making a point by making fun of these girls without them knowing it or she might be working on her PhD in anthropology, but either way she is only letting these girls think this behavior is cool and its not.

I will say that if the economy gets any worse, I might be taking some pointers from these chics…KIDDING…sort of. I’m gonna ride out this writing career, having a Master’s Degree thing and see where it takes me….

images-1Disclaimer: I am late on this one for Pop Gumbo, but if you are Facebook friend of mine, you saw my status on this weeks ago.

So, I am sitting at home, chilling with a glass of wine, watching VH1 Soul, when this video comes on. I am “Ooooooh, this my club jam!” I see Hype’s name, I then see Jake’s face (I got slightly hyped cause I have a small gay crush on him), then Forest’s face (I am like OKAAY, I am digging this…) and then OPIE’S face flashes on the screen. SCREEEEEEEECH! What in the hell?

WHY? Someone tell me why? Ron, are you trying to get street cred? Your wife isn’t doing what she used to? You bored with your millions? Cause I just don’t get it.

When I think of vodka and Henney, I don’t think of a 50-year old balding man who was on Happy Days. STOP IT. I like my middle aged white men paying my rent with no strings attached doing what they normally do: play golf, take the fam to a Yankees games, drinking beer at the local pub or showing off their new John Deer. I mean what’s next? Tom Hanks poppin’ bottles with don’t like to bathe Jim Jones? Robert Deniro throwing money on Dolicia Bryant in a Weezy video? [Well since he likes black women, that might actually happen].

This Obama Effect HAS GOTTEN OUT OF CONTROL. White people, please read this carefully: We, the black people of the United States of America are elated that you voted for President Obama. Thank you. Thank for allowing 8 years of Bush’s UTTER fuck-ups talk you into voting for a black man–we know that for some of you it was difficult and we are eternally grateful for that sacrifice. But, when Obama talks about YES WE CAN all do it together, and WE DID, he sure as hell wasn’t talking about this. Somethings ARE NOT for you to participate in, ex. The Cha Cha slide at a wedding. Let it go, you really don’t want to be us, cause the minute you couldn’t catch a cab, wash your hair and go or were told “No,” you would be soooooooooooooo OVER it.

Watch the video here.

american_violetThanks to Tyler Perry and his coon flicks-YEAH I SAID IT–black people still believe that every woman just needs a good man and a good prayer to get through the day. When in actuality, we just need a stiff one and a stiff cocktail. (I’m joking momma, I don’t even know what that means. I’m a virgin and I don’t drink) It’s time for a change when it comes to images of black people in pop culture–AND THE OBAMAS ARE NOT ENOUGH.

Hopefully, American Violet is a step in the right direction as will my screenplay if I could ever get off page 1. American Violet starring Alfre Woodard, Xzibit. Charles S. Dutton and Nicole Behari is based on the real-life story of Texan waitress Regina Kelly, who was wrongly arrested in 2000 for drugs in a corrupt plan headed by the District Attorney.

Peep the trailer:

Listen up: If you have 10 bucks to trick off to see Madea Burns Down The Chicken Spot and SoulPlane 5: Into The Hudson River, then you can afford to be enlightened by something thought-provoking.

article-0-064efca50000044d-848_468x296So, the findings are in and not only are American teenagers FAT as hell, so are our babies.

Cnn.com reports:

Researchers calculated the body mass index from a sample of 8,550 Hispanic, black, white, Asian and Native American 4-year-olds. The children were born in 2001, and in 2005, their height and weight were measured — 18.4 percent of them were obese.

“Significant differences in the prevalence of obesity between racial/ethnic groups were evident at 4 years of age,” the researchers wrote in the April issue of the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine.

Using body mass index, they found that 31.2 percent of American Indian/Native Alaskans, 22 percent of Hispanics, 20.8 percent of blacks, 15.9 percent of whites and 12.8 percent of Asians were obese.

“It’s surprising that there are large differences by racial/ethnic group by that age,” said Sarah Anderson, an assistant professor of epidemiology at The Ohio State University and lead study author.

Anderson and co-author Robert Whitaker’s analysis showed that children were becoming obese even before encountering soda and candy vending machines in schools.

“These results really do point to the need for us to focus attention on early childhood and the need for research to understand how these differences can emerge so early,” Anderson said. “To do that, we may need to understand the different family and cultural factors that are at play in these children’s lives.”

Why are the researchers acting surprised that the numbers were different among racial lines. How are these findings any different than any other study about anything including obesity among adults? DUH. The people who are the most oppressed, the most marginalized, lacking the same access to healthy foods and health literacy OF COURSE are going to suffer the most and have the larges impact from any illness. Cultural factors should always be part of studies as a means to understand why things are the way they are. STOP IT, I CAN’T.

Now with that being said, institutionalized racism and classism is driving force of this epidemic, but so is the culture that cooks everything in lard, drenches everything in salt even before tasting it and believes that anyone who eats organic is trying to be white. I’m just saying. Just because you want your legs to be amputated by the age of 45, doesn’t mean the babies should suffer. Cause clearly, we can’t blame them for this one, hell most of them think that if you wrap a carrot in a McDonald’s wrapper it tastes better than carrots sitting on a plain paper plate, so this is issue is strictly the parents’ fault.

On the 5 train heading to Manhattan not too long ago, I saw a little girl eating Cheetos at 9:30 in the morning. Not a banana, not an apple, not even some greasy popcorn, but a damn bag of Cheetos and a Capri Sun. Her momma looking as stupid as she wanted to be and the po’ child had Kool-Aid looking stains on her dress and fingers covered with orange crumbs. A mess. Listen up parents: The next time you think about putting Pepsi in your kid’s sippie cup, think twice and no, that’s doesn’t mean add Diet Pepsi instead. Try some damn WATER.

1101080519_400Well, the Messiah’s President Obama’s trip to Europe may have done more than give people more reason to talk about Michelle Obama’s arms, new relaxer or her rear–many of his disciples Americans believe that the Beatles-like response our President and his wife received means that once our dollar is worth more than a piece of chewed gum stuck to the bottom of someone’s shoe, we can go to Spain and perhaps not get lynched. CNN.com reports:

A large majority, 79 percent, said people in other countries will have a more positive view of the United States because of Obama, while 19 percent said it would be more negative, according to the CNN/Opinion Research Corp. poll.

Asked whether Obama has accomplished anything on his trip, 16 percent said that he had accomplished a great deal, while 45 percent thought he had accomplished a fair amount during this trip that took him to a summit with European Union leaders in the Czech Republic, the Group of 20 meeting in England and the NATO summit in France.

“The American public seems to think that Obama‘s primary achievement on his trip so far was increasing good will rather than winning specific concessions from other countries,” said Keating Holland, CNN’s polling director.

I love to hear that people are not ready to throw my boo under a bus yet, but I am more interested in a survey from Europeans about how they feel about us–cause what we think really doesn’t matter, we are proven to be imbeciles. (Remember Cross Colors, both President Bushes and the Macarena?) I hope their feelings match ours, because if I ever travel abroad again, I really don’t want to tell people I am Canadian like I did in 2004 when I went to Paris. I kept getting yelled at for voting for Bush, when I tried to explain that I didn’t, so I just walked around saying “Ey” all the time humming “Oh Canada” under my breath. Not a good look.

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