Media


paulwalker8Say what you must, I don’t give a damn! This white boy from the Fast and the Furious franchise LOOKS GOOD! I know he’s this millennium’s version of Keanu Reeves….I HAVE NO ISSUE WITH THAT, especially given how I would strip in the streets if that’s what it took for Keanu to even look at me.

Walker is the epitome of Nebraska-looking loving. I have yet to see him close up, which is fine FOR NOW. I remember junior year in college, my BFF Emily came to visit me at Michigan and we went to the mall movie theater to see She’s All That and this Adonis played the jerk. When he came to pick Lacey up for the prom and he walked in her parents living room with that tux on….EVERY YOUNG GIRL GASPED like someone had touched their hmm mmm for the first time–Myself included! Paul was the first celebrity I ever cyber-stalked..oh the memories!

Peep my boy:

Who are the people that create these YouTube montages? I mean I am not knocking them, they just do all of my stalker work for me. I just want to know.

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angels-baby-rib-crop-tee-baby-blue-groupieSo do you have low-self esteem? Don’t want to use any real talents other than giving mind-blowing fellatio and using your vagina for cash and “security”? Chase whoever is poppin’ bottles at the club? Great, cause now you have a web sight to validate your whorish behavior. ENTER the blog Tales From A Groupie: The Guidebook to Legal Prostitution Being A Groupie. My girl Shavon brought this to my attention and I am utterly flabbergasted.

This websight allows for women and men to post their nasty-ass tales of fuckery with athletes, rappers and actors and it gives advice to groupies that will help them navigate their skanky world better. Seriously, there are like q&A’s with these people with photographs of who they conquered.

Here’s my personal favorite:

Chris Wilcox

How was he in bed?

Chris and I had one encounter and that was all I could take. It was while he was playing for the clippers. And man let me tell you, this man has the Biggest D*ck I’ve ever seen in my life. He’s like a typical ball player. Straight to the point, no time for BS. Put it like this, his d*ck was so big, I couldn’t even wrap my hand around it!!! It is basically the size of a newborn and I could not take it all the while we f*cked (because trust that what he did) I screamed out in pain. I have never once ran from d*ck, but man he was pulling me back like no other. I could not wait for it to be done. After that I would see him around and I went the other way. I was scared that he would ask to hit it again because my answer would be a long drawn out NO!!!

What would you rate him?
Chris isn’t bad in bed at all. He is a beast, as far as d*ck size so I’ll say 3-4 outta 5, but I wouldn’t f*ck him again because it’s like having a baby and that sh*t hurts
[NO COMMENT ON THAT ONE]
Another fave:
Groupie Tip of The Day: Be Easy
Not just “easy” in the sexual sense, but easygoing. Don’t fret over bullshit like stayin’ out too late or eating that infamous ‘fourth meal’. You know the meal that is to late to be dinner, and to early to be breakfast? Yep, that one. Keep in mind, nobody wants to hang around a uptight bitch. As much as being with this celebrity may be a fantasy for you, it’s a break from reality for him too. Don’t be that overbearing, naggin’ chick that doesn’t know how to chill the hell out. Keep things on your own terms, and try not to appear desperate. Remember, they’re human just like you and as with most things, less is always more; it keeps them guessing.

What I want to know is that if you are a groupie, how you going to act like you are a number one? You are a vessel for this man to penetrate, nothing more, and there isn’t anything less to be. So how you gonna demand to be treated well or want something like RESPECT? A mess.

Can someone tell me what does having sex with an athlete do for you? Does your property value go up? Do you feel prettier than you normally would if you had sex with a REGULAR MAN who might actually call you back? Do these men pay your rent or something? I am not sure if this is all lies, if the creator is making a point by making fun of these girls without them knowing it or she might be working on her PhD in anthropology, but either way she is only letting these girls think this behavior is cool and its not.

I will say that if the economy gets any worse, I might be taking some pointers from these chics…KIDDING…sort of. I’m gonna ride out this writing career, having a Master’s Degree thing and see where it takes me….

ciaraYeah, yeah, this isn’t really a THROWBACK per se, it came out a few years ago, but this is my blog, so I do what I WANT. Say what you want about Ciara–no talent, she has a penis, etc. This video, that pelvis thing that she is doing (Don’t try it at home, I almost fell off the wall and broke my hip,) and just the song in general is HOT.

Play this for me and my clothes are instantly coming off. I’m kidding momma..sort of.

meghan_mccainI knew when this heifer was on The View and other silly shows talking about the devil bitch Ann Coulter and other uninteresting topics, she was up to something. Well I was right. The New York Observer reports that Hyperion is publishing Ms. McCain’s book and is writing her a 6-figure check for it–like she really needs it.

John McCain’s 24-year-old daughter Meghan has a book deal! Sources say Hyperion has prevailed over at least three other publishers in an auction that began earlier this week, following a round of meetings during which the in-your-face young conservative and the literary agent she shares with her father, Sterling Lord Literistic president Flip Brophy, discussed a number of possible approaches to the book with editors around town.

Several sources said the advance Ms. McCain will receive from Hyperion, which is owned by the Disney Company, is in the high six figures.

While we haven’t quite nailed down what Ms. McCain’s book will be about—no one at Hyperion nor Ms. Brophy returned calls this afternoon—if her recent columns for Tina Brown and Barry Diller’s Web site The Daily Beast are any indication, it will probably have something to do with the future of the Republican party, and how it must change to attract the votes of modern young people.

YAWN! Hey Meghan, why not give that money to the families whose loved-ones are fighting in the war that your senile father voted for. Honestly, don’t we have enough boring blonde women with nothing to say writing books nowadays? I am WAY more interested in reading a book from the other McCain daughter, the Indian one they treat like one of the kidnapped kids from The People Under The Stairs. That would be a page-turner.

images-1Disclaimer: I am late on this one for Pop Gumbo, but if you are Facebook friend of mine, you saw my status on this weeks ago.

So, I am sitting at home, chilling with a glass of wine, watching VH1 Soul, when this video comes on. I am “Ooooooh, this my club jam!” I see Hype’s name, I then see Jake’s face (I got slightly hyped cause I have a small gay crush on him), then Forest’s face (I am like OKAAY, I am digging this…) and then OPIE’S face flashes on the screen. SCREEEEEEEECH! What in the hell?

WHY? Someone tell me why? Ron, are you trying to get street cred? Your wife isn’t doing what she used to? You bored with your millions? Cause I just don’t get it.

When I think of vodka and Henney, I don’t think of a 50-year old balding man who was on Happy Days. STOP IT. I like my middle aged white men paying my rent with no strings attached doing what they normally do: play golf, take the fam to a Yankees games, drinking beer at the local pub or showing off their new John Deer. I mean what’s next? Tom Hanks poppin’ bottles with don’t like to bathe Jim Jones? Robert Deniro throwing money on Dolicia Bryant in a Weezy video? [Well since he likes black women, that might actually happen].

This Obama Effect HAS GOTTEN OUT OF CONTROL. White people, please read this carefully: We, the black people of the United States of America are elated that you voted for President Obama. Thank you. Thank for allowing 8 years of Bush’s UTTER fuck-ups talk you into voting for a black man–we know that for some of you it was difficult and we are eternally grateful for that sacrifice. But, when Obama talks about YES WE CAN all do it together, and WE DID, he sure as hell wasn’t talking about this. Somethings ARE NOT for you to participate in, ex. The Cha Cha slide at a wedding. Let it go, you really don’t want to be us, cause the minute you couldn’t catch a cab, wash your hair and go or were told “No,” you would be soooooooooooooo OVER it.

Watch the video here.

bernardwrightnard1981aSo when you are wasted in your house on a Friday night, drinking numerous bottles of wine with your friend, watching old-school videos and dancing in your living room, you are bound to end up seeing this video. This came on on VH1 Soul, after they played LL’s video with this song being sang by Total. I am digging Wright’s version a hell of a lot better. Peep the hair and his girl who looks like a pre-crack Whitney Houston.

This is dedicated to AI and all my old school music lovers!

american_violetThanks to Tyler Perry and his coon flicks-YEAH I SAID IT–black people still believe that every woman just needs a good man and a good prayer to get through the day. When in actuality, we just need a stiff one and a stiff cocktail. (I’m joking momma, I don’t even know what that means. I’m a virgin and I don’t drink) It’s time for a change when it comes to images of black people in pop culture–AND THE OBAMAS ARE NOT ENOUGH.

Hopefully, American Violet is a step in the right direction as will my screenplay if I could ever get off page 1. American Violet starring Alfre Woodard, Xzibit. Charles S. Dutton and Nicole Behari is based on the real-life story of Texan waitress Regina Kelly, who was wrongly arrested in 2000 for drugs in a corrupt plan headed by the District Attorney.

Peep the trailer:

Listen up: If you have 10 bucks to trick off to see Madea Burns Down The Chicken Spot and SoulPlane 5: Into The Hudson River, then you can afford to be enlightened by something thought-provoking.

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