Gay


george-michael-faith_lI always loved George Michael–from when he was wearing coochie cutters with WHAM!, grinding on Aretha Franklin, masturbating in public, came out and went on record saying he was scared to get an HIV test–shit who isn’t? I am a true fan. This song still gives me chills when I listen to it…I mean, “That’s all I wanted, something special, something sacred in your eyes. For just one moment, to be warm and naked at your side.” WHAT? OOOOH-WEEEE. Granted, I was in fifth grade when this dropped, so I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about per se, but it still made me WARM and fuzzy inside. not to mention GM looked really sexy in this video. The second to last shot when she is walking down the catwalk and he is there just looking at her…DAMN!

This model chic played herself in this video. Back then, he could have been my daddy ANYTIME! Now, not so much, but we definitely could go to Vlada together and get wasted.

paulwalker8Say what you must, I don’t give a damn! This white boy from the Fast and the Furious franchise LOOKS GOOD! I know he’s this millennium’s version of Keanu Reeves….I HAVE NO ISSUE WITH THAT, especially given how I would strip in the streets if that’s what it took for Keanu to even look at me.

Walker is the epitome of Nebraska-looking loving. I have yet to see him close up, which is fine FOR NOW. I remember junior year in college, my BFF Emily came to visit me at Michigan and we went to the mall movie theater to see She’s All That and this Adonis played the jerk. When he came to pick Lacey up for the prom and he walked in her parents living room with that tux on….EVERY YOUNG GIRL GASPED like someone had touched their hmm mmm for the first time–Myself included! Paul was the first celebrity I ever cyber-stalked..oh the memories!

Peep my boy:

Who are the people that create these YouTube montages? I mean I am not knocking them, they just do all of my stalker work for me. I just want to know.

I know that there are a lot of black women who would never date a non-black man. That’s your business, you keep letting Essence pump that “one day your black prince will come” fairytale into your head. He might and he might not, but in the meantime, look around a bit, explore.  I did and I found Keanu Reeves. We are quite happy together.

I know he will never be an Oscar winner, he may not take showers every day and there are those gay rumors, but that has never stopped me before, he is fine!

I had fallen out of love with him , but he has been making a Kellee-comeback, especially with The Lake House a few years ago. After watching that, it was on and popping. I would have waited 10 years for him. 

Man! Only better with age.

 

Enjoy this montage of my man. 

You really can find anything on Youtube.

Can someone tell me this: Why a grown woman would celebrate her “love story” at an amusement park? They remind me of a 90s high school couple going to Great America after the senior prom, minus the matching Cross Color outfits. [If you are from the Midwest, don’t even front like you don’t know what I am talking about.)

This charade is upsetting me. Not because I am single and bitter, but because it’s another example of fake Black Hollywood love that is forced down our throats. We see it with Denzel and Paulette, we saw it with Essence‘s cover of Kim and Diddy and now these fools, who just met five minutes ago and now are madly in love. The spectacle of it all.

Honest love my ass. Please, Diddy has a better chance of convincing me that he is finally going to marry Kim than Mariah does of proving that her nuptials are not a scam.

This reminds me of an episode of Sex and The City, when Bitsy Von Muffling, a middle-aged socialiate sent Carrie a wedding announcement stating she was marrying Bobby Fine, a known gay piano bar singer. Miranda says:

“We’re adults, we can handle it. Bitsy should say ‘I am getting older and want companionship’ and Bobby should say,”the hot guys just don’t go for me anymore.’ But to print out invitations and call it love, like love transforms people and molecules…well that’s just bullshit.”

Mariah just say no one else wants to mess with you anymore because you are proven certifiable and Nick just admit that you staying relevant has become increasingly difficult ever since…well the beginning of your career. If the two of you don’t agree with my assesments, fine, admit to something else and stop lying to educated people.

Meanwhile gay couples who actually love each other and have children together still can’t get married in most states, but I can marry my second cousin if I wanted to. Something doesn’t seem right about that.

It in un-feminist of me to be get the giggles every time this man is on television? Before, I never looked at him in that way, I just respected him for his beliefs, his vision for this country and his “audacity to hope.” But after that whole “brush your shoulders off” incident, I see his swagger. We all know how I love a man with swagger.

Sigh.

FYI: Don’t worry Michelle, I won’t cross the line. I know you don’t play. You would tear me up if I attempted to step to your man.

If you live in New York and have been in any subway station (BK’s Atlantic Avenue Stop) or been at home kicking it enjoying reruns of The Wire, you have been unexpectedly hit with New York City Department of Health’s new ad campaign to stop folks from puffing on cancer sticks: Maria and her missing fingers.

See below:

There are two other commercials like this as well.

According to the Health Department, Marie developed Buerger’s disease, a condition that narrows arteries reducing blood flow to the arms and legs. She has lost parts of most fingers, as well as a leg and a part of one foot. Her man also left her because he couldn’t take it anymore.

I do hope that Mayor Bloomberg tricked her off some of his billions or promised to pay her rent for the rest of her natural life, because that is the only way the kid would have put herself on blast like this.

I mean fear tactics are so post/911 circa 2005. They don’t work with the masses. (Me on the other hand they work for sure, I am scared of everything.) People don’t care about their bodies, if they did they wouldn’t cook greens in LARD or eat at Chipotle. So if you think that hardcore smokers give a damn about amputated fingers, bone clippers, holes in their throat, second-hand smoke giving their kids asthma or the threat of being single, you’re nuts.

But people are terrified of you messing with their money.

So here is my thought: Make cigarettes expensive as hell. A pack of Marlboro Lights in New York is already high at $8.50. I say make it $20. And with this recession in full effect, folks will have to choose between light bills or cigarettes, gas or smokes, food or trees.

Now that would be a kick ass PSA. Maria’s kids on television saying that their mother’s addiction was so bad that she used up their college fund because she just “needed to light up after sex.”

Maybe just shaming folks would work.

SHOUTOUT: To my friend Nicole L. who is missing a finger due to a childhood accident, not smoking, although she does smoke.  This post does not pertain to your situation–your missing finger is how i say, “Freaky sexy!”

Yesterday Ross Douthat of The Atlantic Monthly had a debate on the New York Times website about how he doesn’t quite like Michelle Obama’s anger and wonders if she’s entitled to it:

There’s something about Michelle Obama’s anger that rubs me the wrong way… It’s not like she doesn’t have the right to be angry on behalf of the people still living in poverty, blacks on the South Side of Chicago … It’s when she gives the impression that she is angry on behalf of her self. There is something that rubs me the wrong way, I guess.

First, I am upset, because this critique of her is not an isolated incident-other members of the press are having a field day in making her the angry black woman. I just want to know what about Michelle’s anger screams entitlement? He must be thinking about Hillary. Who in the hell is allowed to take things personally then, only the worse off? Well Native Americans it is your time to shine.

Anger is not a privilege, it is a right. Now having Starz, HBO and Showtime as part of your cable package, that is a privilege.

What really bugs me about his statements is that they are based on the notion that black people who have achieved the American Dream—thanks to affirmative action of course—can’t personally be upset about what is going on with people in their own racial community nor can they understand the plight of others.

If you are black, you know oppression point blank. It may not be the same exact thing that Erica who lives in Brownsville, Brooklyn experiences, but I am pretty sure that Michelle came face to face with some real nonsense at Princeton. Class doesn’t trump race, never has, never will. What you do to Erica is what you do to Michelle. Also, experiencing discrimination doesn’t stop because your husband is about to be the first black president. Oppresion, no matter how subtle or in your face, plays a DAILY role in the lives of all black folks.

Douthat, I’m going to let you in on a little secret that is called RACIAL SOLIDARITY. I know that white people are hip to the game of how black middle class speak badly about poor blacks—Chris Rock’s whole niggas versus black people. But do not get it twisted; we are one when it comes to injustice. We take it real personal like family. You hurt my mother, we are going to have some serious words.

I didn’t sit at home during Hurricane Katrina and say “Sucks for them po’ folks.” I got pissed. I don’t have to live in the South Bronx to be irate that the asthma rates are triple that of predominately white suburbs because of illegal dumping of toxic waste.

You should be able to have an Ivy League law degree, rock St. John’s suits, sport a Gidget flip and still be an activist without being looked at sideways.

It amazes me how people continue to label her as being unpatriotic. Why? Because she refuses to be coked up smile like McCain’s wife muttering how great it is live in this hellhole. Please, no one truly loves this country, unless you are the part of the 2 percent that owns everything.

How can you a love a nation that lets people with AIDS die while they wait on a list to receive life-saving medicines that cost nothing to make? How can you love a nation that allows for millions of people to be uninsured and have to rely on the ER for their main source of medical treatment? How can you love a nation that allowed for Full House to be on for a damn decade and cancelled My So-Called Life after 12 measly episodes? Patriotism is a farce.

If you ask me, anger is the best thing in the world. The greatest accomplishments that ever happened—the end of separate but equal, Roe vs. Wade, the right to vote for all people, etc.—came from anger. People who reached that breaking point and said, “Oh hell to the naw!”

We could all benefit from being more pissed off if you ask me.

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