April 2009


george-michael-faith_lI always loved George Michael–from when he was wearing coochie cutters with WHAM!, grinding on Aretha Franklin, masturbating in public, came out and went on record saying he was scared to get an HIV test–shit who isn’t? I am a true fan. This song still gives me chills when I listen to it…I mean, “That’s all I wanted, something special, something sacred in your eyes. For just one moment, to be warm and naked at your side.” WHAT? OOOOH-WEEEE. Granted, I was in fifth grade when this dropped, so I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about per se, but it still made me WARM and fuzzy inside. not to mention GM looked really sexy in this video. The second to last shot when she is walking down the catwalk and he is there just looking at her…DAMN!

This model chic played herself in this video. Back then, he could have been my daddy ANYTIME! Now, not so much, but we definitely could go to Vlada together and get wasted.

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300_41308I mean, everybody wants to the next Obama Girl or summin’, but this is just getting out of control. The New York Times reports that two Domino’s employees thought it would be funny to put boogers on pizzas, video tape it and it put it online. Instead of getting dap from the cyber world, all hell broke loose:

When two Domino’s Pizza employees filmed a prank in the restaurant’s kitchen, they decided to post it online. In a few days, thanks to the power of social media, they ended up with felony charges, more than a million disgusted viewers, and a major company facing a public relations crisis.

In videos posted on YouTube and elsewhere this week, a Domino’s employee in Conover, N.C., prepared sandwiches for delivery while putting cheese up his nose, nasal mucus on the sandwiches, and violating other health-code standards while a fellow employee provided narration.

The two were charged with delivering prohibited foods.

By Wednesday afternoon, the video had been viewed more than a million times on YouTube. References to it were in five of the 12 results on the first page of Google search for “Dominos,” and discussions about Domino’s had spread throughout Twitter.

This is why the majority of meals are prepared at home–so i know it’s my OWN boogers on my food–NASTY BITCHES. If these fools go to jail, how are they going to explain that to their cell mate?

“Uh, I’m here because me and my coworker pretended to put boogers on a pepperoni and mushroom pizza and then we posted it on YouTube. Why are you here?”

” I decapitated my neighbor for yelling at my dog.”

“Sweet.”

I hope they get their tails whooped everyday in the slammer.

This is why people need to really think about what they post online, cause EVERYBODY AND THEY MOMMA IS EITHER TWITTERING, FACEBOOKING IT AND YOUTUBIN’ IT, OR WHATEVER ELSE IS HOT IN THE STREETS. What did they think was going to happen? People were going to laugh and keep it moving? Did they think Steve Colbert was going to invite them on his show or something? Actually, these hillbillies probably don’t even have cable–they would probably be happy if they were on Maury.

Why in the hell would you jeopardize your damn job-in the midst of the worse recession this country has ever seen–over some 15-minutes of fame nonsense? What low-IQ person George W. Bush would find that amusing? It’s cool though, there are 15 Harvard grads in the area already lined up waiting to take their jobs anyway, so maybe it all worked out. Meanwhile, Domino’s stocks are plummeting, they are being bombarded with complaints and the poor president of the company had to send an email apologizing to folks–you know Pizza Hut and Poppa Johns are happy as hell right now.

012762_11The Boomerang soundtrack was the ish, but this song was the STANDOUT! PM Dawn was always a little strange, with their flower power mantra and hippie glasses. Not quite the mold of black masculinity at that time–Public Enemy, X-hats and “By Any Means Necessary, that’s probably why I loved them so….. I had this crush on this boy–who will remain nameless and you couldn’t have told me that this song was not written for me and my teen angst. I was a tortured soul even back in 1992.

texas5So the Huffington Post is reporting that Texas Gov. Rick Perry has his panties in a bunch because a black man is President he and other conservatives like himself don’t like Obama and Congress’s stance on some issues.

AUSTIN, Texas — Texas Gov. Rick Perry fired up an anti-tax “tea party” Wednesday with his stance against the federal government and for states’ rights as some in his U.S. flag-waving audience shouted, “Secede!”

An animated Perry told the crowd at Austin City Hall — one of three tea parties he was attending across the state — that officials in Washington have abandoned the country’s founding principles of limited government. He said the federal government is strangling Americans with taxation, spending and debt.

Perry repeated his running theme that Texas’ economy is in relatively good shape compared with other states and with the “federal budget mess.” Many in the crowd held signs deriding President Barack Obama and the $786 billion federal economic stimulus package.

Perry called his supporters patriots. Later, answering news reporters’ questions, Perry suggested Texans might at some point get so fed up they would want to secede from the union, though he said he sees no reason why Texas should do that.

“There’s a lot of different scenarios,” Perry said. “We’ve got a great union. There’s absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we’re a pretty independent lot to boot.”

Are we supposed to be scared or summin? Be out then. The only decent things in Texas are the city of Austin and my brother Wilson, both which can relocate easily. Honestly, like REAL TALK. What in the hell has Texas ever done for us? It brought us TWO President Bushes, them racist hillbillies who dragged that innocent black man with their car and killed him and that stupid Jessica Simpson and Beyonce. I mean really. I think the quality of life would be much better for this country, if the state and everything in it were to do how Bobby Brown did New Edition, throw the dueces and go solo. They’ll do all right in the beginning, but eventually they will come back beggin’ when their money is gone and they all strung out.

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I mean, yes we ALL MUST WRAP IT UP and clearly the message isn’t being heard, given the soaring rates of HIV infections around the world. So what does Germany do? Try to scare the hell out of you to not raw dog it by conjuring up emotions of guilt, oppression and mass extinction: Don’t bring the next Hitler into the world. Use a condom.

Slate blogger Willa Paskin writes: A truly astounding series of German condom advertisements are making the rounds this morning—each features a sketch of a sperm made to look like Adolf Hitler, Osama Bin Laden or Mao Zedong. Their not so subtle message being, “Better wrap it up… unless you want to bring evil into the world!” The ads are arresting and hilarious, but the self-flagellation inherent in them strikes me as being distinctly German: I can’t imagine many American dudes susceptible to the suggestion that their sperm wear swastikas, or, to use a more purely American parallel, KKK outfits. (Obviously, their sperm have 90 mile an hour fastballs, good looks and a working familiarity with the art of the deal). It’s a dark take on procreation, informed by an everyday awareness that people can go really, really bad. Of course, people can go good as well, and I almost expect to see these images re-purposed for an anti-condom or pro-life campaign, with sperm made to look like Jesus, Abe Lincoln or Martin Luther King Jr.

What ever happened to just showing pictures of the woman with the cauliflower vagina or the man with bumpy penis to “remind” people of the dangers of unprotected sex? Why you gotta go and get all “George W. Weapons of Mass Destruction” with it? Why you gotta get all Schlinder’s List on it? Now I gotta to worry about HIV and carrying in my womb the next HORRENDOUS murderous dictator who is capable of blowing up things and killing people for fun? C’mon now.

The ads are slightly funny, but a mess nonetheless.

See the rest here.

keri1wb1So, I haven’t been waiting for her album to drop as long as Maxwell’s…lol, but it has been awhile. And honestly, I am not disappointed. I knew when I heard Energy last summer, I was going to like her stuff.  I love her style, she writes some of her own stuff,  she can actually dance and sing (Rihanna, you taking notes?) and she is not screaming on her tracks (Bey. ARE YOU LISTENING?) Her album sounds like a mix of everything–a little Ciara (Slow Dance), a little but of Prince (Intuition), a little but of Aaliyah (especially “Where Did He Go”) and a little J-Hud (Energy). My favorite song on the album is definitely “Turning You On” and “Intuition”. I feel her  when she says “I got this crazy feeling…im gonna be single again…I can feel it…you gonna mess up!” Girl, you ain’t never lied, cause they always do.

Here is her new video “Knock You Down” I hate to even say it, cause I love him, but I am sooooooo over Kanye right now.

Watch Mathew Knowles ask to be her manager so he can sabotage her career just like he did Kelly’s. Keri, watch yo’ back!

paulwalker8Say what you must, I don’t give a damn! This white boy from the Fast and the Furious franchise LOOKS GOOD! I know he’s this millennium’s version of Keanu Reeves….I HAVE NO ISSUE WITH THAT, especially given how I would strip in the streets if that’s what it took for Keanu to even look at me.

Walker is the epitome of Nebraska-looking loving. I have yet to see him close up, which is fine FOR NOW. I remember junior year in college, my BFF Emily came to visit me at Michigan and we went to the mall movie theater to see She’s All That and this Adonis played the jerk. When he came to pick Lacey up for the prom and he walked in her parents living room with that tux on….EVERY YOUNG GIRL GASPED like someone had touched their hmm mmm for the first time–Myself included! Paul was the first celebrity I ever cyber-stalked..oh the memories!

Peep my boy:

Who are the people that create these YouTube montages? I mean I am not knocking them, they just do all of my stalker work for me. I just want to know.

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