The AP reports: Spanking children may do more than ruin their self-esteem; it could also affect their sexual lives say researchers from the University of New Hampshire. Kids who were physically disciplined are more likely as adults to coerce partners to have sex, have unprotected sex and partake in painful and humiliating sex. [DAMN]
All I can say is that this is a shame. Raising monsters is what some of us are doing. When I have kids, I don’t want to spank them–I’m all for threatening to spank and every now and then getting them legs. [For the record, most studies claim that occasional mild spanking does not affect your children psychologically] But when you beat the shit out of your kids with a broom or a belt or smack them in their face– you are tearing them down.
Look, I get it, we have all seen those frantic white mothers whose five year-old twins are yelling at them, “I hate you, you fucking cunt,” while they are running through the isles of the grocery store. All the while she is trying to reason with them, looking stupid as hell. No one wants to be her.
And yes, kids need to be disciplined, especially our kids, but we don’t have to take it the extreme. And we have all seen it. I was on the train, these kids were ACTING LIKE KIDS and were being ancy in their seats. The father scooped them up by the collar, damn near shaking them. He told him”Get your fucking act together before I beat your asses. This is why I hate taking you guys any damn where.” The children were terrified, meanwhile the mother didn’t say shit. I don’t blame her, she was probably next on the ass whipping list.
I’ve heard the arguments, ‘I have to get them before society does.” WTF? Pounding your child does not cushion the blow to being called nigga in their face or being passed over for a job. Trust me, I was spanked as child and it did not lessen the pain of being accused of being an affirmative action baby or being told by a former non-black boss that I needed to dummy it down because my white higher up colleagues did not like “my attitude.” (All I wanted to do was reenact Columbine up in there.)
You want to teach your child about the harsh realities that their future holds, try opening up a history book or watch the news with them every now and then.
With that being said, parents listen up:
- STOP BEATING YOUR KIDS!
- Don’t shit on everything your kids do-kids are killing parents nowadays, you might want to rethink your approach.
- Be emotionally available-If you don’t know how to do that, go buy a Iyanla Vanzant book and figure it out.
- There is nothing wrong with telling your kids you love them, or letting them cry once in a damn while. Remember, you are not training suicide bombers, just respectable U.S. citizens.
- Stop listening to your parents on how you should raise your kids–They fucked you up, they are in no position to be giving advice.