I am not sure if anyone watches E! Red carpet special, but this past Sunday for the Emmys. I did and was shocked what new mother and My Name is Earl actress Jamie Pressley said when praised on how she took the “normal” route for losing her baby weight.

She told some skeleton-looking host that by hitting’ the gym five days a week for 3 hours only TEN DAYS after giving birth, going on the cabbage soup diet and eating high protein-low carbs diet she was able to shed 30 pounds in mere months. When the host asked her what was the cabbage soup diet was, Pressley didn’t go into too many details, but told her to Google it. (Priceless)

Now let me ask you: After pushing a 8 pound lump out of your vagina for 12 hours, its constant crying all night, no sleep, and breasts that are sore as hell, please tell me what “normal” woman has the time or the energy to take her ass to the gym for 3 hours a day? Is that even safe? Can’t your uterus just fall out or something?

And who can afford a babysitter to watch your rugrat like that? On day 2 my mother would be like, “I need a check!” Finally, who in the hell eats cabbage? Most people don’t not know where that is in the store.

I need for E! to stop for congratulating famous people for being down to earth common folk. Common folk don’t lose the weight at all; they actually put on 25 more pounds. She lost the weight because she didn’t want to be dogged out on the cover of US Weekly like Kate Hudson and Debra Messing for being a fat sloppy mess.

I blame the death of the supermodel for all of this shit. Before when real models graced the cover of magazines, if you were short or of color, you knew you were never going to look like these freaks of nature, so there was a chance that you might get over it. But now that actresses have replaced the models, and Americans regard actresses as normal people, the public has lost their damn minds!

Actresses are not normal people who just happened to stumble across these jobs. They have a lot of money and a lot of free time. YOU DON’T. Stop killing yourself to look like that. Hey, I recently had to check myself and eat more because I was starving to fit into a bridesmaid’s dress. Picture me starving, riding home on the 5 train during rush hour: NOT A GOOD LOOK.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Pressley. I always like an underdog and let’s be honest who would’ve ever thought that Emmy winner and her name would ever be in the same sentence? But I need for folks to keep it real.

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