I’m not sure what the recent fascination with vaginas is really about, but now on top of using wipes, I need to be completely waxed? Damn.


Dear Tom,

May I call you Tom? I get it, you are sexier than Marc Jacobs, Michael Kors and Zac Posen combined– and probably a hell of a lot wealthier. And yes, when you went to Gucci in the 90s, you resurrected the line with your innovative and sexy designs (We will always remember Toni Braxton in the “Un-break My Heart” video rocking the white dress with the circle cut out on the side)

But what in the hell is this? That is not alluring. Where are the pubes? Whose vagina is that? A twelve year-old’s? Jenna Jameson’s? Why can we see your face and not the woman’s? Better yet, what does this have to do with a MAN’S COLOGNE?

Next time, show us a penis. It may not pretty, but at least it will be relevant.



P.S. No one puts that much body oil down there–EVER.

P.P.S. A little less photoshopping in the face. You’re fly without it.

P.P.S.S.  Aren’t you gay?