This past weekend, Superbad, Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg’s teen raunch hit, surpassed the 100 million dollar mark.

I saw the flick with my friend Karen a few weeks ago in Union Square. The theater was packed with NYU students (silly frat boys with dirty white Maine University caps and too-cool for school co-eds with leggings and ballet slippers) and people like myself (too grown to be entertaining this buffoonery.)

I saw the previews for this, so I thought I had a grasp on what this was about. The typical unpopular boys, like Shia’s Transformer’s character, spend their last summer before college chasing after the pretty girls that they never had the balls to talk to during the last three and half years of high school. I mean, we get it, nerds are making a comeback, so I sat in my seat thinking that this would be cute with a little bit of piss and puke humor. But after the first scene, where Seth talks about which porn site he was going to be subscribing to and how they could see women being shat on, I knew I was in for a nasty ride.

And unfortunately the entire movie was full of this shit [pardon the pun]: simulated jacking off and cumming on girls in Home Economics class, foul talk a woman’s genitalia and banging them, making plans to get girls drunk and sleeping with them (RAPE), and then the woman who has her period on old boy’s pants. Who does that? That is so 1987.

Let me not forget my favorite scene: A wasted seventeen year-old channeling her inner Jenna Jameson by grinding on Evan’s groin and whispering, “I am so wet. I want your cock inside of me.” The entire audience cracked up and all I could do was put my face in my hands. I wanted to leave, but I didn’t want to be that person, the angry feminist who can’t take a joke.

But when the movie ended and I started to walk down 3rd Avenue, I started to get more and more pissed off. I asked my friend “Am I the only person who has a problem with this?” She shrugged her shoulders and agreed it was a bit much. No, a bit much was when Cameron Diaz used sperm for hair gel. We were way passed that.

I mean are we so desensitized, that we think this is humorous? I realize that kids younger and younger are having sex and not everyone in high school stays a virgin, but DAMN. I don’t want to laugh at a child taking a cock inside of her, just like I don’t want to laugh at stoned spring breakers eating each other out in Girls Gone Wild or high schoolers selling their body for Gucci bags or nine year-old wearing a silver bikini at Brighton Beach or roofies being dropped in a girl’s drink. I mean, in a way don’t they all kind of exist on the same plane? I couldn’t laugh at this, I couldn’t laugh at girls being so disrespected.

Now, I understand that teen movies each decade attempt to be more realistic and raise the shock-value bar. In the 80s it was Fast Times at Ridgemont High with the whole Judge Reinhold’s masturbation scene and then in the 90s there was American Pie with the Jason Biggs’ penis in the pie. (I thought that shit was hilarious) But for this decade, why do the jokes have to made at the expense of the young girls? Why do they have to be so damn sexual and so insulting?

Not saying that there were not some endearing moments–especially the scenes between Fogell and the cops, but they didn’t make up for everything else. And of course, the movie ends all wrapped up in a nice little bow–the sex-obsessed dorks get the girls. No consequences for being douchebags. And yeah, I hear the same argument, its how kids are, they outgrow it, its just a movie. Sorry, you don’t outgrow misogyny. You unlearn it. And we all know that ain’t happening. And no, its not just a movie, its a reflection of how society regards young women.

I guess next time, I will read an in-depth movie review in Entertainment Weekly before I waste my $11.50.

My bad.

Disclaimer: I did have an almost-30 moment while I was watching this movie: an epiphany where I realized that am too old for MTV, low-rise jeans, reality television, and US Weekly. Yet, either way, I’m still right.

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