Disclaimer: I make it a habit to not talk about such triflin’ topics such as baby momma drama and gold diggers, because it is truly beneath me, but I couldn’t resist this time. So I apologize ahead of time.

Kim Porter, the true master of fusing the roles of the jump off, wifey, and baby momma together to benefit her financially, has been giving interviews to anyone who wants to listen to her explain why she ended her torrid 10-year relationship with hip-hop mogul Sean “Puffy” Combs. Now she is blowing up spots in her new 2-part Essence interview, of course blaming everybody but her greed and sheer stupidity as to why her love affair ended in shambles.

This has got to stop.

Dear Ms. Porter,

Nobody wants to hear this shit anymore. What ever happened to KEEPING YOUR BUSINESS TO YOURSELF? Didn’t your mama teach you that? It’s not like you are Princess Di, she had some real royal laundry to air when she left the kingdom.

You, are not telling us anything new. I can list 5 friends right now that have no good, cheating, nasty don’t-use-condoms men. The only difference is that they never slept with J.Lo or Superhead. Well, definitely not J.Lo.

Are you doing it for moral support? Let’s just say the world did have your back Kim. We are not the ones signing your child support checks or your alimony or whatever the hell he is giving you. It would be in your best interest to not kick a gift horse in its mouth-if you get my drift.

You make us look bad, real bad. You make us black women look like pathetic desperate losers who will tolerate anything– public infidelity (Sienna Miller), other babies from different women, and declarations that he will NEVER marry you–to be in a high-profile relationship. Is that worth the couture? The diamonds? The trips? The fact that you can Google your name and your picture pops up?

Every time I think of you, I reflect back to your cover shoot for Essence last year–where you and Diddy were on the cover. You were pregnant with your twin girls and wore a beautiful white dress that blew in the wind. You were smiling in Entertainment Tonight’s camera while Puff rubbed your growing belly. You kept saying, “Black love, black love.”And I remember yelling at the screen “Shut the F**K up Kim!” If black love means giving birth to twins on a Monday and your man is out partying with another woman to the wee hours of the night on a Thursday, I’m gonna have to pass.

And then to make matters worse, I recently read that you guys are back together as of Labor Day. Hmm, I guess when you had to fly Coach you got your act together.

Please, this is too Sweet Valley High for me, one day you are wearing his Sean John varsity jacket, the next week Jessica Wakefield is wearing it, and now it back on your shoulders. Gimme a damn break!

A few years ago, Oprah asked Salma Hayek why she never talked about her relationships with the reporters and Salma answered, “The more you talk about it, the less special it is. My relationships belong to me.” And then Oprah tried to play it off was like, “Yeah, yeah, I mean look at J.Lo and Ben. All they did was talk about it and now look at them!” And Salma replied, “That’s what happens when you measure your love in Bentleys.”

Learn from this wise woman and get your mind right.