September 2007

I DVR Oprah everyday, I know she has lost her pizazz a bit, but when I saw the preview for Thursday’s show, I knew it was on and popping. She will have Sicko director Michael Moore confronting some health care lobbyist–she was dumb to even show up. It looked like he had ripped that bitch a new one; her eyeballs were big as hell! Maybe this show will address why a woman’s insurance company denied her claim because she had an unrelated yeast infection 10 years prior.

If you have DVR, tape it Thursday. I love to see people other than black and Latinos wild’n out on TV.


I hate to sound like a broken record: But what is going on with white people the past couple of months? Between the shit going down in Jena, shock jocks calling black women “nappy-headed hos,”meth heads torturing a black woman and making her eat shit, nooses being hung from the back of a car and coked up ex-model talking about BET being racist–it is time to rethink which country I live in.

Last week, Fox News dickhead anchor Bill O’Reilly went to famous soul food restaurant Sylvia’s with Reverend Al Sharpton (of all people) for a down home meal thanking Sharpton for being on his bullshit show. O’Reilly was amazed at how civilizied black people were acting and claimed that maybe black people do not always take on rappers and hip hop culture.

The AP reports: After his experience, he went said on his radio talkshow the following about our behavior in the restaurant:

“It was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun,” he said. “And there wasn’t any kind of craziness at all.”

O’Reilly spoke during a general discussion about racial relations with Fox News analyst Juan Williams. O’Reilly said he believed black Americans were “starting to think more and more for themselves” and backing away from a race-based culture encouraged by Sharpton and Jesse Jackson.

He said he treated Sharpton to dinner to thank him for appearing on his Fox News Channel show.

O’Reilly pointed to the lack of difference between Sylvia’s and other restaurants as a marker of racial progress. He also noted that he went to an Anita Baker concert recently where the audience was evenly mixed between blacks and whites.

Why would Al Sharpton want to be seen with ass anywhere? Of all the places to take him, why would you take a racist to a soul fool buffet? That is like taking Farrakahn to a falafal joint.

Before I rip into O’Reilly, I want to be honest. There have been times where I have been places–the subway, Harlem, the grocery store, the airport, the mall, etc.–and I have been ashamed of my own people’s behavior–the gum cracking, the loud yelling, beating your kids, picking your teeth with your MTA card, smoking on the train, cussing folks out, and the list could go on and on…We got to do better! This is what happens when you only see 2 images of black people on television: thugs and ghetto rats.

But, to be surprised that black folks were not shooting up over fried chicken and collard greens is ignorant as hell. If you watch television and believe that this a true representation of the world, then you are a fucking idiot. If that is the case, then all young white girls are hairless vagina-non-panty wearing drug addicts, all gay people are flamboyant whores and all white men are nerds and boring. We all know that is not necessarily true.

When is the last time you have been around black folks? Clearly NONE WORK AT FOX NEWS! And then to have the audacity to believe that his comments were a compliment.

“Oh tank ya’ massa for seein’ dat we learned to be so well behaved when lickin’ the lard off our fingas. Oh Isa jus wanns be like you’all wonderful white gods. Oh the burden to be Negro!”

That is almost as insulting as being told you “speak so well”

FYI: WE ARE NOT UNTAMED ANIMALS! Since when did this womanizer think that he had the intellectual rigor to comment on black culture. Cornell West you are not. Taser This: Fuck O’Reilly.

Oh, I thought I would be able to blog about something nice and positive today! Maybe when I learn to act in public.

Big ups to Media Matters for bringing this to our attention.

Last week, another legal personality was introduced to America: Judge David Young. Why does this matter? Because even with Judge Mathis, Judge Hatchett, Judge Judy and the other clowns, we were lacking a gay judge. Until now.

Here is an excerpt from the press release said:

The star of the show, Judge David Young, is an innovative and compelling and judge who offers a provocative and entertaining blend of honesty, compassion, and humor when resolving issues in his courtroom. Judge Young is also daytime television’s first openly gay judge.

In his first week on the bench, Judge Young presides over several fun filled yet hard-hitting cases including a wacky woman going cuckoo in court over her stolen pet parrot, formerly estranged lovers bickering over porn, and a man who returns to his stables to find his horse was sold!

Judge Young is known for his fierce intelligence and an occasional burst into show tunes and brings a refreshing perspective to the daytime audience. Confrontational, caring and always entertaining, Judge Young will command respect first and foremost from his litigants and will have zero tolerance for those who attempt to dodge responsibility or waste the court’s time.

Okay, where do I begin: entertaining (because that is all gay people are good at), singing show tunes for no good reason and being FIERCE were used to describe the show. If I wanted that, I would go to Splash in New York City. Oh, I forgot to tell you; the show’s tagline is “Justice With A Snap!” I mean really? JUSTICE WITH A SNAP? Why not, justice with a cock in a mouth? Justice with a dab of eyeliner and a little bit of glitter? This is not amusing.

I cannot speak for gay people–although I am an honorary gay black man–I can only speak for just being a straight black woman when I say that this is some bullshit. Why is it when marginalized people are on television, we have to be so damn one-dimensional? And yes, it is tricky. Because there are a lot gay men who love show tunes and Broadway and love to entertain and snap. But that does not mean that is the only side we can show. I love nelly queens and feel that they should always be part of a narrative about gayness, as should totally macho sport loving gay men and those in between. I just detest using stereotypes as selling points.

I realize that there is a lack of gay people on television, as well of people of color—which is nothing new—but that does not mean just suck it up and be happy that some of us are getting checks. I am not cabbage patching every time I see a black crack head on HBO. We are past the time of doors needing to be kicked down with any old image just so that we can see ourselves.

All I am just asking for complexity and a range, not the same old coons running across the screen. Is that too much to ask?

Cycle 1 winner of America’s Next Top Model, Adrienne Curry, 25, is not only a failure of a model and a pathetic reality star, but  an “intellectual” blogger who has lots of insightful things to share with her fans. This past weekend she blogged about how she is banning BET (because it’s racist), Black History Month (because it’s racist) and how we all just need to get over slavery.

Here are some of my favorite snippets from her MySpace blog:

Yes, I get it. Black people were slaves here once. You know what? That does suck some mjor balls, however, it is time to move the fuck on.

So, I will no longer tune into BET. This is going to suck, but I do NOT like the idea of having a channel for only 1 race. In the year 2007 in a country that is supposed to be the most advanced and equal. This is unacceptable

Lets change Black History Month to 2 months of AMERICAN HISTORY. We will still learn about all the black leaders and people who made a difference….just not with the racist name of “Black History Month”. It has to start somewhere.

I know Curry is not really a celebrity, only some stupid Z-lister who married that Brady guy on VH1 and felt salty when he got a vasectomy behind her back because he didn’t want to procreate with her. But I thought this was worthy to comment on.

Now granted this is coming from someone from Joliet, Illinois (the armpit of all suburbs) and from someone who had to be taught by Tyra Banks how to pronounce the word “passion” correctly, you really cannot take her inner Ann Coulter seriously, but it still hurts. To minimize slavery as being just something that “sucked balls,” Hefer please, the only thing that sucks balls is you and your husband. And to be mad at BET for being a channel dedicated to race. You need to be banning CBS because minus Jimmy Smits new show,  their fall line-up looks like a Klan rally.

I told you guys that the only downside of the Jena “Six” becoming more visible was this: people coming out of their mouth to no end talking about complex things that their little brains cannot comprehend.

I would also like for people to stop calling black people racist. We cannot be racist: ignorant and prejudice, yes, but not racist. Racism is about power, and that we don’t have. Example. I don’t like you, your feelings get hurt, You don’t like me, I don’t get hired. See the difference?

As good brotha’ Malcolm said, “We didn’t land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on us.” Race is not something that we constructed, it was forced on us and despite her trashy ass wanting us to get over it, it ain’t gonna happen.

Man what if we could just get over it, if it were that easy. I just wished it away; let’s see if I can catch a cab on Fifth Avenue.

Yesterday thousands of people took to the streets and protested the unfair treatment that the legal system has given to the 6 young black men for alledegly beating up a white student after months of racial harrassment.

The fight occurred in December and yet it took this protest to get the major media, not Fox News though, to cover the event. Even Dubby made a comment trying to look like he is up to date on current events. He claimed, “The events in Louisiana have saddened me, and I understand the emotions,” he said. “The Justice Department and the FBI are monitoring the situation down there.” Yeah, right.

The usual players were there, Reverend Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson saying the following:

“In every state, more blacks [are] in jail than college,” he said. “In every state, there’s a Jena everywhere.”

Now that this has finally made it to the mainstream, the gang of comments have been made from some clueless white folks,not just on my site, but in newspapers, other blogs, and newsrooms. They mostly say that this is not about race, this is about a fight. Or hanging nooses is not illegal,but fighting is. Or my personal favorite, the reason that the media did not talk about it was to poor more fuel on the fire, not because of race.

This is why talking about these issues with some white folks can make you want to kill yourself.

This is clearly about race. Plain and simple and to even try to come out of your mouth and say otherwise, goes to show your utter ignorance and blatant denial. This is like trying to explain to the The View’s Sherri Sheperd that evolution is fact. Racism is real in this country. I don’t know what it will take for America to realize that. WHITE PRIVELDGE IS NOT A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION. The reason that the white boys got a slap on the wrist is because they were white. That is the benefit of being white–YOU GET AWAY WITH THINGS. YOU GET TO CHEAT THE SYSTEM. YOU GET TO MAKE UP THE RULES. Can you honestly tell me that the color of your skin does affect the way that you are treated? Historically, it has affected my treatment, so why not yours?

All we are asking is for equal treatment and equal protection under the law. Either this whole shit is something for the School District to work out or the legal system, not half and half. Some of you are acting like we are asking for reperations. Fall back.

What we should be especially alarmed about is the fact that the media did not pay this any attention until now. If bloggers and black radio did not talk about it, this would have gone unnoticed. That scares the shit out of me. How many other stories have gone untold? What else have we missed? Who is making the decisions of what is newsworthy and what is not?

One more day until Friday. Try a little tenderness when dealing with your kiss ass co-workers who will do anything to look better than you. Enjoy!

I am not sure if anyone watches E! Red carpet special, but this past Sunday for the Emmys. I did and was shocked what new mother and My Name is Earl actress Jamie Pressley said when praised on how she took the “normal” route for losing her baby weight.

She told some skeleton-looking host that by hitting’ the gym five days a week for 3 hours only TEN DAYS after giving birth, going on the cabbage soup diet and eating high protein-low carbs diet she was able to shed 30 pounds in mere months. When the host asked her what was the cabbage soup diet was, Pressley didn’t go into too many details, but told her to Google it. (Priceless)

Now let me ask you: After pushing a 8 pound lump out of your vagina for 12 hours, its constant crying all night, no sleep, and breasts that are sore as hell, please tell me what “normal” woman has the time or the energy to take her ass to the gym for 3 hours a day? Is that even safe? Can’t your uterus just fall out or something?

And who can afford a babysitter to watch your rugrat like that? On day 2 my mother would be like, “I need a check!” Finally, who in the hell eats cabbage? Most people don’t not know where that is in the store.

I need for E! to stop for congratulating famous people for being down to earth common folk. Common folk don’t lose the weight at all; they actually put on 25 more pounds. She lost the weight because she didn’t want to be dogged out on the cover of US Weekly like Kate Hudson and Debra Messing for being a fat sloppy mess.

I blame the death of the supermodel for all of this shit. Before when real models graced the cover of magazines, if you were short or of color, you knew you were never going to look like these freaks of nature, so there was a chance that you might get over it. But now that actresses have replaced the models, and Americans regard actresses as normal people, the public has lost their damn minds!

Actresses are not normal people who just happened to stumble across these jobs. They have a lot of money and a lot of free time. YOU DON’T. Stop killing yourself to look like that. Hey, I recently had to check myself and eat more because I was starving to fit into a bridesmaid’s dress. Picture me starving, riding home on the 5 train during rush hour: NOT A GOOD LOOK.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Pressley. I always like an underdog and let’s be honest who would’ve ever thought that Emmy winner and her name would ever be in the same sentence? But I need for folks to keep it real.

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