Oh what a half season The Walking Dead was!
The group took over the prison; killed a hell of a lot of zombies and a couple of people too; we were finally introduced to
our silent mute Michonne; Merle is alive and Carl is still needs an ass whooping; The Governor got his eye poked out; Andrea got laid and a hot shower; the Old Man got half of his leg cut off; T-Dog had 2 lines and then was killed; and Rick lost his mind for 2 episodes and miraculously got sane.
Oh and what’s her face died after she gave birth and we all cried and forgot for 4 minutes that we hated her ungrateful ass.
There wasn’t much to complain about this season, it was pretty amazing. But that won’t stop Pop Gumbo from throwing shade anyway. It’s what I do. Here’s what I need to happen when the show returns in February.
- Make Michonne Open Her Damn Mouth
I am not sure if she is Helen Keller meets Kill Bill, but seriously, her long silent glares with her big eyes and her grunting got REAL tired after episode 3.
We get it, she mad, she bad, she black, she has swords and she is independent. But can we make her less of the angry Black woman that we are warned will never get married cause she too “aggressive” and more of a nuanced character that I can relate to and empathize with?
For her to be a fan favorite, the meth looking white man ex con who I can’t even remember his name has more actual lines than Michonne does. Get it together please. It’s bad enough that the only other Black woman on the show got all TD Jakes on us and sat there and to get blown up so she could meet her maker.
Also, she was waaay too worried about Andrea’s ass for entirely too long. Girl, if Andrea wanna stay and be The Governor’s booty call let her. No one is gonna make me stay longer than I want to, if I think the ish is shady…
Which leads me to….
- De-Dickmatize Andrea STAT
Look, I get it. The last person Andrea had sex with was Shane’s crazy ass. And the last time Andrea took a shower was 2010. And the last time she had liquor was at the CDC headquarters. She’s been running with Michonne all winter, she is tired of talking to herself and running from the zombies. She wants a normal life, some consistent sex and a warm bed to sleep in at night.
And the Governor is giving her everything she needs, included a lifetime supply of whiskey. I would be the Queen of Woodberry-doing anything he told me to do (within reason) As my friend once joked, if he was her he would be like “You want me to comb Penny’s hair Big Daddy?”
But what I need for the writers to do is de-dickmatize her and get her mind right when it comes to Rick & Co. They are your family, that’s where your loyalties lie. Yeah yeah, you got left, but girl please. Your own sister, had you not put her down, would have left you too. Get over it. You gonna mess around and stay and end up in a body bag or worse one of them zombies wrestling humans in the pit with people cheering.
What’s most sad is that Andrea had gained all of this independence and “I am woman hear me roar” mentality since the first season, and the minute she gets some lovin’ and male attention, she acts stuck on stupid. Sigh.
- It’s OK to Have More Than One Black Man Alive on The Show At a Time, Really, It Is
I mean, it was bad enough that T-Dawg only had 4 lines for two and a half seasons. But you then kill him off, only to replace him with an ex con who lasted like 4 eps with very few lines, who you then killed off and replaced with another Black man we met in the finale, Tyrone.
What’s up with this tag team Black representation? You afraid that if you have three Black men together at the same time, they gonna go all Nat Turner on these white folks? I can’t promise that they won’t, but still, don’t be scared.
Also: Where are the Latinos, Asian women, Arabs, South Asians and most importantly, THE OUT GAYS??? I know its Georgia, but I need some more diversity up in this apocalyptic world…
- Whatever you do DON’T KILL OFF DARYL OR GLEN
Yeah you all killed off Shane, Dale and Laurie,
which was OK cause they were annoying. I get that killing off main characters, who we have grown to love and/or hate, creates more buzz, drama and long ass FB threads and gchat conversations. It also gets you more viewers. So in no way am I asking you to not kill people because I am not emotional capable of dealing with loss. But if you kill off Glen and/or Daryl folks including myself might lose their damn minds, riot and stone you all at Comic-Con. I’m just warning you, a boycott of the show ain’t nothing. People are emotionally invested in these two characters for a RANGE OF REASONS, so choose wisely you off next.
My advice: Just kill Carl Jr–his Justin Beiber hair, bad attitude and sense of entitlement is getting on my damn nerves. Just a suggestion.
Any other items of your wishlist for The Walking Dead? What did I miss?