He Reminds Me of My Jeep: Drake

Yes, Jimmy from Degrassi: The Next Generation makes my panties moist. I aint ashamed.

This Canadian import’s smile blows me away. Most important,  he is slightly corny–which I love. I am so over this “I got shot nine times in the mouth, I sold drugs out my grandmother’s car, I have 17 kids from 17 different women and I served 25 years to life for murdering some man who cut me line at Target.

The hyper-masculine thug has got to go!

What I find interesting is that when I posted my love for Drake on Facebook, I got HATED on. Told that he is ugly, that I am too cute for him and that I have low standards!

Listen up: I don’t care if he looks kinda of retarded, or if his hairline is REALLY low or if he somewhat resembles a caveman, homo-habitus, whatever. This young man  is super talented and can make my p***y whistle WHENEVER HE WANTS.

Oh and you cougars out there, Drake, 23,  told Vibe he loves older women. (Which means I possibly have a chance. )

FYI: I have forgiven him for that shitty “Best I Ever Had” video and his kiss with Rihanna. (Kanye, who directed the video was clearly off his meds. I also suspect he suffers from the same disease that Beyonce’s father does–wanting to sabatoge other’s careers who stand in his way.  No comment on Rihanna–I don’t want to get attacked by her stans who continue to fight for the right to have no talent and be successful in the music game. )

Below is his newest joint with Timberland, “Say Something”… Peep when he licks his lips…damn…

Drake, I have plenty to say, but I don’t want my another lecture from my mother for being crass on the blog.

 

Music Video Throwback…George Michael’s “Father Figure”

I always loved George Michael–from when he was wearing coochie cutters with WHAM!, grinding on Aretha Franklin, masturbating in public, came out and went on record saying he was scared to get an HIV test–shit who isn’t? I am a true fan. This song still gives me chills when I listen to it…I mean, “That’s all I wanted, something special, something sacred in your eyes. For just one moment, to be warm and naked at your side.” WHAT? OOOOH-WEEEE. Granted, I was in fifth grade when this dropped, so I wasn’t quite sure what he was talking about per se, but it still made me WARM and fuzzy inside. not to mention GM looked really sexy in this video. The second to last shot when she is walking down the catwalk and he is there just looking at her…DAMN!

This model chic played herself in this video. Back then, he could have been my daddy ANYTIME! Now, not so much, but we definitely could go to Vlada together and get wasted.

 

Music Video Throwback…Ciara’s “Promise”

Yeah, yeah, this isn’t really a THROWBACK per se, it came out a few years ago, but this is my blog, so I do what I WANT. Say what you want about Ciara–no talent, she has a penis, etc. This video, that pelvis thing that she is doing (Don’t try it at home, I almost fell off the wall and broke my hip,) and just the song in general is HOT.

Play this for me and my clothes are instantly coming off. I’m kidding momma..sort of.

 

The Obama Effect # 321: Ron Howard in Jamie Foxx’s Video “Blame It”

Disclaimer: I am late on this one for Pop Gumbo, but if you are Facebook friend of mine, you saw my status on this weeks ago.

So, I am sitting at home, chilling with a glass of wine, watching VH1 Soul, when this video comes on. I am “Ooooooh, this my club jam!” I see Hype’s name, I then see Jake’s face (I got slightly hyped cause I have a small gay crush on him), then Forest’s face (I am like OKAAY, I am digging this…) and then OPIE’S face flashes on the screen. SCREEEEEEEECH! What in the hell?

WHY? Someone tell me why? Ron, are you trying to get street cred? Your wife isn’t doing what she used to? You bored with your millions? Cause I just don’t get it.

When I think of vodka and Henney, I don’t think of a 50-year old balding man who was on Happy Days. STOP IT. I like my middle aged white men paying my rent with no strings attached doing what they normally do: play golf, take the fam to a Yankees games, drinking beer at the local pub or showing off their new John Deer. I mean what’s next? Tom Hanks poppin’ bottles with don’t like to bathe Jim Jones? Robert Deniro throwing money on Dolicia Bryant in a Weezy video? [Well since he likes black women, that might actually happen].

This Obama Effect HAS GOTTEN OUT OF CONTROL. White people, please read this carefully: We, the black people of the United States of America are elated that you voted for President Obama. Thank you. Thank for allowing 8 years of Bush’s UTTER fuck-ups talk you into voting for a black man–we know that for some of you it was difficult and we are eternally grateful for that sacrifice. But, when Obama talks about YES WE CAN all do it together, and WE DID, he sure as hell wasn’t talking about this. Somethings ARE NOT for you to participate in, ex. The Cha Cha slide at a wedding. Let it go, you really don’t want to be us, cause the minute you couldn’t catch a cab, wash your hair and go or were told “No,” you would be soooooooooooooo OVER it.

Watch the video here.

 

Oh How The Mighty Have Fallen: The Shabba Ranks Edition

So my boy Kenyon sent me an e-mail about a party next week and I didn’t quite understand why it was so funny, until I remembered who this dude was: Early 90s Reggae sensation Shabba Ranks! I thought he was dead. Man when the checks stop coming in.

This is so sad. Why is he performing at a party in Queens? Whose birthday is this? I mean this party could be packed–with old people of course, but nonetheless, I need to know know who is going to this and for what, did he have more than one song?

In case you don’t remember Shabba, here is a refresher. This was my jam in 7th grade.

Does anyone know what in the hell he is saying?

Here’s the “In Living Color” version.

 

My Thoughts On Hillary Clinton Sticking This President Thing Out….

Hil, you are standing in the way of CHANGE! Hefer DROP OUT now and do so with DIGNITY! Wait it may be too late for that.

[Yes, this is the same YouTube video I used for another posting about her a few months ago. Damn, some of you never forget anything.]

 

Video Throwback: Tony Toni Tone’s “Whatever You Want”

What can I say? I was thinking about someone in particular today.

 

We Get It! Smoking Is Bad For You, But Is This PSA Really Necessary?

If you live in New York and have been in any subway station (BK’s Atlantic Avenue Stop) or been at home kicking it enjoying reruns of The Wire, you have been unexpectedly hit with New York City Department of Health’s new ad campaign to stop folks from puffing on cancer sticks: Maria and her missing fingers.

See below:

There are two other commercials like this as well.

According to the Health Department, Marie developed Buerger’s disease, a condition that narrows arteries reducing blood flow to the arms and legs. She has lost parts of most fingers, as well as a leg and a part of one foot. Her man also left her because he couldn’t take it anymore.

I do hope that Mayor Bloomberg tricked her off some of his billions or promised to pay her rent for the rest of her natural life, because that is the only way the kid would have put herself on blast like this.

I mean fear tactics are so post/911 circa 2005. They don’t work with the masses. (Me on the other hand they work for sure, I am scared of everything.) People don’t care about their bodies, if they did they wouldn’t cook greens in LARD or eat at Chipotle. So if you think that hardcore smokers give a damn about amputated fingers, bone clippers, holes in their throat, second-hand smoke giving their kids asthma or the threat of being single, you’re nuts.

But people are terrified of you messing with their money.

So here is my thought: Make cigarettes expensive as hell. A pack of Marlboro Lights in New York is already high at $8.50. I say make it $20. And with this recession in full effect, folks will have to choose between light bills or cigarettes, gas or smokes, food or trees.

Now that would be a kick ass PSA. Maria’s kids on television saying that their mother’s addiction was so bad that she used up their college fund because she just “needed to light up after sex.”

Maybe just shaming folks would work.

SHOUTOUT: To my friend Nicole L. who is missing a finger due to a childhood accident, not smoking, although she does smoke.  This post does not pertain to your situation–your missing finger is how i say, “Freaky sexy!”

 

Video Throwback: Queen Latifah’s U.N.I.T.Y

Because the weather is about to break and we are going to be wearing less, some men believe that commenting on your “ass in them shorts” is not only appropriate, but a compliment that we should be grateful for. And God forbid you ignore them and keep it moving. I have never been called a bitch so many times in my life until I moved to Brooklyn.

 

My Thoughts on Today’s Verdict